Gay Thoughts


Okay. All this fighting is just ridiculous. You guys are all fighting over a thing that is a law. It’s like fighting over women being able to vote, or whatever.
I’ve been waiting for this day. I’m truly excited. Making this post means a lot to me.. Been wanting to post it on The Thought Hub, but I feel like it has a better place on a blog I feel connected to.
I ship people. People. Like Rhett and Link, Dan and Phil, SpongeBob and Patrick, Me and That-Random-Guy -on- the-Bus-That-Look-Like -Someone -I- Know-ish Even-Though -He-Is -Way- Older-Than-Me. Sometimes when people ship the same gender, people get crazy. They ask “don’t they have wives?” Or say mean insults.
I’m not leading well into what I’m trying to say.
Let say that one day, a couple days before Christmas, I hacked into the wifi at my crummy stupid apartment. I instantly email Matt, because I’ve been trying to ask him for advice. Advice for me. Me to… I had trouble finding my identity. I asked myself, “am I gay” everyday. My mom would force me into dresses, skirts, girly stupid clothes. I would say no to shopping for makeup, nail polish, ya know. I knew that Gay only meant (okay irl im crying now) went for a guy liking his same gender. I’m not a man, but I really wanted to be gay. So transgender had an opportunity for me, to become gay-ish. But I still only wanted to be gay. Tyler Oakley and Matt seemed so happy, always optimistic because they both were happy gay and gay. But Matt ended up not being gay, but yeah. But It doesn’t really make sense because I’m trying to summarize it, but I told Matt because I only had an hour of wifi, and he’s kinda been through the same thing. I got an email about three minutes later, and some really nice advice. Not some cheap, overused advice, but advice meant only for me. I felt real to it. He understood. I even wrote his advice down, and read it everyday to remember it. You guys might think that is a creepy weird thing, but it’s a bondish sortish thing. I can’t explain. So anyways, after I shared that with Matt, I couldn’t stop wanting to be gay. I told my friend on NYEve, and she just okayed it. We talked about it irl, but using gay as the term “pickle”. So I wrote everywhere that (here comes to tears again, no joke) I was pickle. You guys may get references from older posts about pickle now…
Cesar always called me Gay too. That really made me think more about it. That all he would say.
“Are you lesbian?”
“Are you gay??”
“I know, Jessenia, I know.”
So that is why I was pretty much depressed around December-January time. I felt like he actually knew. Both people knew. And there I was, loving those two’s advice and weirdness to keep my head up.
This is the most legit post I have ever made. So. Don’t just like it if you don’t actually like it. See ya, peeps. * crys and eats a potato ;)*
^Inside joke, not joke but inside thing*
+NYEEEHHH. I AM NOT. IM JUST CONFUSED and i wish Matt would still email me to give me his long advice…
But yah. Just confused

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39 thoughts on “Gay Thoughts

  1. I had……. No idea…………. Everyone here SHOULD accept you for who you are and what you believe. The true SF and irl friends will support you with whatever makes you happy. πŸ˜… But don’t leave if people think this is bad or something. Please? For the nice people? anyway,
    Your Friend
    Brace

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I have a friend at school who is pansexual. At the beginning of the yeast she was confused and uncomfortable talking about her sexuality. Now she is fairly confident about it. I guess it just takes time to figure things like this out. 😐 Whenever I’m sad and confused I listen to Lana Del Rey’s music. One of my friends told me it made her cry but I like it because the lyrics are really meaningful and make me feel calmer and less alone.

    Like

  3. you need some advice? Im always open… *gumbles cuz no one likes le firk *now known as diglet* advice… er never asks em*

    Like

  4. Hello Jessenia.

    You’ll always be a daughter of God no matter what you do.

    If you want to know my personal, religious belief on gay stuff, read on.

    God teaches that marriage should be of a man and a woman, not woman and woman or man and man.

    That’s it. That’s my belief. I felt I should post this. So I did.
    I’m not mad at you, or anything.

    By the way…

    I’M BACK!!!
    I’m going to be off and on most of the time but it doesn’t matter because I, your fellow OSF (Original Super Folder) am BACK!!!

    Like

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