Truth and Trust ft. Coconut

Heeeyyy, friends. I got the WiFi back on, so more binge watching of Rhett and Link! More talking to you guys! More happiness!

If you know me, or know know me, you know about Coconut. You know,my *achem* crush, enemy, classmate.

Today was a day I won’t forget.

A few days ago,my teacher brought up “dada art”. You take multiple pictures and make one big image. Google it. Anyways, we started making that, cutting out different pictures from magazines, thinking of ideas. Some people tried making the pope breakdance, Donald Trump be a basketball in a NBA game, make everyone seem ‘beautiful”, whatever. I was making my art of me.

I don’t know what my exact um, me, person, soul, seeeeeexxxxxuaaality *cough cough matpat little pineapple what* is. Um. I do like um guys, but like, I question. Straight but questionable, as you can say. Thanks Matt for helping with that.

SO, I’m really strong with the whole “everyone is equal yah yah yah corn everyone is da same” stuff. I see a drawing of a girl with one side long hair, other short. There goes my scissors, cutting it out, making one side, other really happy. “What’s wrong?’ quote crosses the girl’s eyes. Rainbow in background. Fists for hands. Body is a suit.

I saw this quote in a newspaper, “What did God do wrong?” Cut it out, posted it on top.

There goes my life.

I feel mad, posting these pictures around the head. What am  doing?? I paste a pic of Pusheen the Cat typing on the computer. Is this me?

I go back to my desk, satisfied. I glance up, finding Cesar looking at me, then looks at my art. He studies it, and says

******* quotation marks means he’s speaking******

“I don’t get it. Explain.”

Big accomplishment, I confuse the smartest kid in the school!

Um… it’s me? We stare into each other eyes.

“Don’t worry.”

We both get it. :))

Monday, today I mean, I pray to God that it’ll be a good day. Especially that Coconut seemed reluctant to give me peace in church.

Morning time, we’re nice to each other. He keeps on playing with my hair, blowing on it, curling it, weird stuff. We talk, make a new inside joke, be all cool. We sing in harmony of SpongeBob songs, tease each other.

Afternoon time, we have to finish the dada art. Oh no. Not ready to finish it, I hate it, I want to hide. Cesar is often alone during art time. People really don’t group with him. SinceI sit across from him, I might as well keep him company. Friends ask if I want to join them, I refuse. Not to be mean, but the guy needs to share laughs.

So we’re sitting there, cutting out pictures. His is about how the church isn’t united as it used to be. We help each other find images, talk. He does often comment how much I’m blushing, which I AM NOT, so that makes me actually blush, It makes him laugh how he has the power to make me blush all the time. I feewwwl like he is a friewnd.

We start to discuss our art. I study his. He gets genuinely interested in my thoughts, then starts describing how each picture is his emotions about everything. AMazing.

“Can you help open my glue? My hands are sweaty.”

Ohhh, your hands are sweaty. I see.

” No, no, no, no, I didn’t mean that. C’mon Jessen-

*places glue cap in one hand, glue bottle in his other*

“Thankssss.”

Then we glance at mine. Now Pusheen the Cat has a gender icon thing on his screen, a rainbow elephant, ‘what am I’ in caps. I get hot.

“So um, what does yours mean?’

UHhhhh it’s about, um… me…like…

“Like what? Lemme see.”

*studies art again and does his signature thinking face*

We stare in each others eyes again. I don’t know what to say.

Classmate: what is yours about Jesseniaa?

Me: Oh, um, it’s about equality, like how it’s wrong to like someone that is the same um, gender as um, you, yeah…

I feel his stare trying to make eye contact again.

Classmate: that’s cool.

Cesar: ah, I knew it. So that makes you, that?

Well, like, I don’t know who I am. See? *points at quote*

” I see. What do the shoes mean?”

Oh. That means how it is to be in-

“Someone elses shoes. I get it. Is that you? *points at girl’s face*

Uhhh no? I think.

“That. * points at computer screen with cat* That’s you talking to Matt.”

Pretty much.

“hiding online”  quote is captioning that pic, btw

“Wow. This is deep. So, like, you have guy parts?”

No.

“You’re gonna get surgery?” *smirks*

Wtf no.

“Are you gay or what?”

I don’t know. I’m confused.

“So you’re in the middle.”

Yep, you got it.

—-The teacher sneaks up behind me and studies art——

Teacher: Wow. This is deep. Really impressive. WOw.

*please please don’t ask questions please*

Teacher: So you’re an Atheist???

*class shuts up and listens*

Me:nonononononoonononono ima Christian Yep.

Teacher: well it seems like it. Sorry. I embarressed you.You’re all red.

Me: I blush alot. *snort from cesar*

Teacher: Well, okay. Good job. *walks away*

“Stop blushing.”

Okay. Anyways.

We talk more seriousness. I can’t remember everything.

“So are you BISEXUAL”

Shut up, I don’t talk about it like that.

“Why not?”

It’s too quiet. I don’t want everyone to know.

“Does your mom know?

No.

“Why did you tell me of all people?”

I ponder this for a minute.

I really don’t know. I told you because you… underst- liste- you get it.

*he shuffles in his seat*

” Does anyone else know? Not like I care.”

Um…… Giselle. Yep.

“OHHHH I see. Okay.”

*stares again*

“Okay, okay. So what are you?”

Confused. I think I am but… I’m in the middle of process.

“You’re in a circle.”

Sure.

“If we had a trait thing for this, you would win.”

Oh. Wait, what?

“You know, you can pass for a guy. If you were one.”

*takes off beanie* Staring thing again.

“Decreases the standards.”

“Wow. That.. hurt my feelings.

Stares again.

“Oh. Okay. You’re weird.”

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Longest post ever. A legit post. 1000 words!!!

So I feel like we kinda sorta bonded. Today was good. I’ll show the art when it gets graded.

Comment thoughts below! Love y’alll xD

-Confused Jess